Parental Advisory- Explicit Lyrics-
You know as you start getting deep into this client thing some things begin to stick out like sore thumbs... Though the ups are usually what keeps us going.. there is always someone who tries to bring you down no matter what you do. Let me begin by naming off the kinds of clients one can and eventually will encounter as a stylist in training, then on into his or her career...
1. The 'no personality' client- They say nothing, they want nothing... This kind of client usually won't have much input- to what's about to happen to their head. This client is usually boring. But the plus is you get done a hell of a lot faster since they usually only want a shampoo/blow dry.
2. The 'Fun Client'- This type of client usually is willing to try the funky hair color, fun hair styles, and usually is easy going (even if you mess up) They understand life is not perfect...and sometimes neither is hair works.
3. The 'Finnicky' Client- This client can be tricky... one minute they want a cut, the next they don't... When they came in they wanted red, but now they want brown...Or instead of a flat iron can I get shirley temple curls? These are tiring clients. Usually you just want them to get the hell out of your chair when you "expect" them to be out of your chair.
4. The 'Easy Going' Client- These types are hard to come by... They are almost always okay with whatever you let them know needs to be done. They are willing to try something new, and are basically easily satisfied. You will actually look forward to styling this client. However comma.. the odds of getting this type are slim. Treat them right when you get them.
5. The 'BITCH' client- This is an oh-so-special case. You see, the alias of this client is also the 'no matter what you do I won't be happy' client as well. This type will come in negative-sit down negative-try to drag your whole day down with the negativity-and leave negatively (then you're revitalized when they are gone!!!)
So here is a little tale about the bitch we dealt with tonite. Today my friend got a client whom happened to be a BITCH. This bitch wanted her hair flat ironed. Yet this heffa wants to bitch about who is doing her hair because she happens to be mexican. While this young lady set-up and attempted to comb the bitches hair.. do you know this bitch sat there the whole time asking her if she knew what she was doing, and making smart remarks???
So I get called over to assist- and this bitch then commences to talking extra sh*t about the girl who was doing her hair. I let her know it was a learning environment and you cannot pick and choose who you want to comb your hair... When you signed that waiver- you said you understood this was a learning institution, and we are students. Anyway, We only had about an hour and fifteen minutes to flat iron this bitches hair. So the whole time the bitch is feeling her head (as if her hair was relaxed straight to begin with... then when it was done because it was time to go 10 minutes past... I bumped her under what I could...and let that ass go. I didn't straighten as much as I could- I did it like a "student" for Myra! -because she was acting like a bitch to my girl... and then me...
So she's all upset- wants to press her edges by herself but can't, and thinks she's getting a refund and yes my instructor came over and let her know as well.. No refunds...they do what they can- to the best of their ability... And I know Miss G know how I get down... but heeeeey it was time to go. So she's looking like she want to cry- and then starts telling the sob story about her mom coming here and got her hair done and it looked great and this and that... and we're looking like "So?" Asking if she could violate student privacy by going through records to see who did her mama hair... Bitch no you can't & insurance don't cover you burning yourself inside the school after hours- but you can come play russian roulette with your hair again if you like...I am just cracking UP inside because now she's lookin' and feeling all sh*tty- and that's how you made this other young lady feel. I did that for all the young ladies who have had to deal with a never satisfied ass client. *Fucketh You...
Karma's a bitch ain't it- bitch? You paid 21 dollars... & acted like a bitch...so you can leave looking like you paid 21 bucks. Because your 'tude wasn't worth 10 cents. And yes- this is the type of client you could care less about & actually hope NEVER comes back. So in case you couldn't say it.... I will: Fuck that bitch.
(Gracefully borrowed from Sharon) A Conversation I Actually Had:
*Myra pats me on the back after bitch is complaining anyway-
Sharon: Don't worry those kinds of clients are never satisfied.. No matter what you would have done she wouldn't have been happy...
Me: I know... I ain't trippin' off what she talking about... I know I can get down- I just didn't get down on her hair... Shit I don't want her or her attitude coming back in here to bother me or anyone else.
"MY NAME IS... Shake-zoola... the mic rule-ah... the old skoola.... !!!" ATHF