Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Buggaboo ass dudes...

Have you ever met someone and thought they was cool... nice even, but maybe not cool enough for you to REALLY want to get to know... but you try to be nice and give them your number anyway thinking they will not do too much trying to get your attention??? Just a call here and there, and eventualy will stop calling you because they get that you not trying to holla at them, so they taper off... Then- you realize just how wrong you were, and you start kicking yourself in the ass for giving them your number in the first place... I should have known by the way he wouldn’t leave me alone about my number and how he stayed in my face afterward... he’d easily become a pest...The second time I saw him in a club he all in my grill like I’m a superstar trying to take a pictures with me and shit... I’m like- Damn man go sit your ass down somewhere, and keep your hands off and away from my lower back trying to make folks think you’re with me or some shit. If I’m not trying to hug you...stand next to you.. hell talk with you much out and about.. chances are I have already realized I shouldn’t have spoken to you in the first place, because you don’t get it!!! I am seriously trying to calculate in my mind how a person just doesn’t get the hint that someone is not trying to get with them. Maybe just be cool with ya... as along as you don’t keep trying to get with me everytime I look up, and that’s all. If you’re calling/texting me everytime I blink, and half the time I don’t answer or respond. The feeling ain’t mutual. If you’re always asking me when can you get a date, and I tell you I’m busy and can’t really say... Chances are I’m not feeling you like that, and I don’t want to give you the false hope that I’m looking out for your calls or texts; Nor am I trying to be hanging out with you making you believe I like you more than what I do. I just don’t have the heart to just say, "Look- I don’t like you like that.. Quit calling me like you are first in line or some shit. There are a whole lotta other muggs trying to get with me too... what makes your ass so special? Why do we need to link up like tomorrow? Hell, haven’t you noticed I ain’t got no time for you? Why are you constantly calling me? This is probably why your ass is single now, you’re a damn bugaboo. What in the hell makes you think I want to be bothered with someone who is already breathing down my back, after 4 days acting all clingy like he GONNA be my man whether I like it or not?" Yeah, I know it’s sad but the truth of the matter is, when you dig someone you magically seem to answer their calls most of the time... Texts get responded to quick, and the spending time... Of course I ain’t doing nothing and HELL YEAH we can go out tomorrow. It’s just how it is, and it’s the complete opposite when a person ain’t digging you. Bad as I felt today for completely ignoring this dude, I realized and had a conversation with self... If you respond, this cat is going to think you’re liking him a little... Even though all it said was "Hey beautiful.. How’s your day going?" The title is enough for me to know this fool wants to be calling me that on a regular basis. Can you call me by my name before you start trying to give me lovey assed pet names? When people call me things like baby... beautiful... mami.. and other crap like that; It irritates the hell out of me because I don’t know your ass well enough for you to be all informal like that. I have a name and ain’t na’an one of those- it. So I plain ignored the text and deleted it. Yesterday he sent me a text message saying some mess about what are my plans for the day.. I just said laundry..cleaning and then a date." I said the date to give him a hint that I got time for this dude.. but not you...lol but he still ain’t get it obviously because he turns around and send me a message talkng about "WOW a date? When can I get some date time to spend with you? I got some questions to ask and things to talk about the next time we talk...TRUST" - like we’re dating or something... I’m thinking no we don’t- you need to consult with yourself as to why you’re on my bra strap so tough, and why do you feel the need to be bugging Nikki... So I didn’t answer that either. Maybe he’ll get the hint in a few days. If he don’t he gonna just be getting ignored. Oh the ufck well. I’m too tired for some clingy mofo.

"You make me want to throw my pager out the window.. tell M-C-I to cut the phone poles... break my lease so I can move... cuz you’s a bugaboo a bugaboo... I wanna put your number on the call block... have A-O-L make my email stop... Cuz you a bugaboo.. you buggin’ what- you buggin who- you buggin’ me and don’tcha see it ain’t cool...."

Destiny’s Child- Bugaboo

Friday, April 4, 2008

Tendency to think back...

think it’s only natural as humans to think back and relive the moments in our lives.. some good, some outstanding... some just plain bad. But all in all these experiences we go through mold us into who we are. I just sometimes wonder when you go back, how do you conjure up the same emotions you felt when you were going through something even when you’re not trying to? It’s funny because if I think back on a lot of my experiences, I can feel how I felt...deeply. Sometimes it’s not so bad to relive a moment...especially if it was a good one. Things like that keep you sane sometimes. I know I shouldn’t worry about those who don’t worry about me... but sometimes you can’t help but ask yourself, "what in the heck happened?" or "How did we get to where we are now?" Crazy as it is, they say folks are in your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime... So I don’t dwell on it too long. They didn’t make it to my future for a reason, and usually if I think back enough...I am reminded of that reason... Either way, I intend to make today a wonderful day... it’s Friday.. I have my health, good people in my life, and can’t really complain. Hope you all do the same... Later~


"If you are what you say you are.. a superstar, then have no fear.. the camera’s here and the lights are on... and what a show...."

Superstar-Lupe Fiasco