Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The 5 Types of Clients.. (For Myra)

Parental Advisory- Explicit Lyrics-

You know as you start getting deep into this client thing some things begin to stick out like sore thumbs... Though the ups are usually what keeps us going.. there is always someone who tries to bring you down no matter what you do. Let me begin by naming off the kinds of clients one can and eventually will encounter as a stylist in training, then on into his or her career...

1. The 'no personality' client- They say nothing, they want nothing... This kind of client usually won't have much input- to what's about to happen to their head. This client is usually boring. But the plus is you get done a hell of a lot faster since they usually only want a shampoo/blow dry.

2. The 'Fun Client'- This type of client usually is willing to try the funky hair color, fun hair styles, and usually is easy going (even if you mess up) They understand life is not perfect...and sometimes neither is hair works.

3. The 'Finnicky' Client- This client can be tricky... one minute they want a cut, the next they don't... When they came in they wanted red, but now they want brown...Or instead of a flat iron can I get shirley temple curls? These are tiring clients. Usually you just want them to get the hell out of your chair when you "expect" them to be out of your chair.

4. The 'Easy Going' Client- These types are hard to come by... They are almost always okay with whatever you let them know needs to be done. They are willing to try something new, and are basically easily satisfied. You will actually look forward to styling this client. However comma.. the odds of getting this type are slim. Treat them right when you get them.

5. The 'BITCH' client- This is an oh-so-special case. You see, the alias of this client is also the 'no matter what you do I won't be happy' client as well. This type will come in negative-sit down negative-try to drag your whole day down with the negativity-and leave negatively (then you're revitalized when they are gone!!!)

So here is a little tale about the bitch we dealt with tonite. Today my friend got a client whom happened to be a BITCH. This bitch wanted her hair flat ironed. Yet this heffa wants to bitch about who is doing her hair because she happens to be mexican. While this young lady set-up and attempted to comb the bitches hair.. do you know this bitch sat there the whole time asking her if she knew what she was doing, and making smart remarks???

So I get called over to assist- and this bitch then commences to talking extra sh*t about the girl who was doing her hair. I let her know it was a learning environment and you cannot pick and choose who you want to comb your hair... When you signed that waiver- you said you understood this was a learning institution, and we are students. Anyway, We only had about an hour and fifteen minutes to flat iron this bitches hair. So the whole time the bitch is feeling her head (as if her hair was relaxed straight to begin with... then when it was done because it was time to go 10 minutes past... I bumped her under what I could...and let that ass go. I didn't straighten as much as I could- I did it like a "student" for Myra! -because she was acting like a bitch to my girl... and then me...

So she's all upset- wants to press her edges by herself but can't, and thinks she's getting a refund and yes my instructor came over and let her know as well.. No refunds...they do what they can- to the best of their ability... And I know Miss G know how I get down... but heeeeey it was time to go. So she's looking like she want to cry- and then starts telling the sob story about her mom coming here and got her hair done and it looked great and this and that... and we're looking like "So?" Asking if she could violate student privacy by going through records to see who did her mama hair... Bitch no you can't & insurance don't cover you burning yourself inside the school after hours- but you can come play russian roulette with your hair again if you like...I am just cracking UP inside because now she's lookin' and feeling all sh*tty- and that's how you made this other young lady feel. I did that for all the young ladies who have had to deal with a never satisfied ass client. *Fucketh You...

Karma's a bitch ain't it- bitch? You paid 21 dollars... & acted like a bitch...so you can leave looking like you paid 21 bucks. Because your 'tude wasn't worth 10 cents. And yes- this is the type of client you could care less about & actually hope NEVER comes back. So in case you couldn't say it.... I will: Fuck that bitch.

(Gracefully borrowed from Sharon) A Conversation I Actually Had:

*Myra pats me on the back after bitch is complaining anyway-

Sharon: Don't worry those kinds of clients are never satisfied.. No matter what you would have done she wouldn't have been happy...

Me: I know... I ain't trippin' off what she talking about... I know I can get down- I just didn't get down on her hair... Shit I don't want her or her attitude coming back in here to bother me or anyone else.


"MY NAME IS... Shake-zoola... the mic rule-ah... the old skoola.... !!!" ATHF

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Acting A Fool... To Get Results.

You know.. sometimes you just have to act a damn fool to get results. Today in the midst of all the extra nonsense i'm going through, I decided to write a letter to the president of the beauty school I attend-to let her know just how damn disgusted I am by the way things are at the academy. How trifling I thought it was that this school has been remodeled, yet we didn't have any towels that looked like they were worth a damn! I went off about how it makes no sense that the supplies we need we have( like developer, bleach, toner, q-tips, and things that we BASICALLY need...)we have to come out of our pockets for when the school SHOULD BEEN HAD supplied them. I snapped about these ignorant teachers who ask me how to do procedures... Excuse me? Don't you have a license??? I plain went smooth the hell off. What was the result? We are going to be getting new stuff, and the supply condition will get fixed because Nicole will write state board if you don't. That's what the result was. I got a phone call and Ms. Lynell was a kissin' on the booty because she know she don't want that boo-boo hole got into by the board and that school will lose it's accredation on this BS they trying to pull. I payed 12 grand and I need 12 grand worth of sh*t.. So since changes needed was being noted.. I needed one more change while I was on a roll, and had her, the head manager, and head teacher on the phone... I asked why in the hell is it I am at a zero balance, done with my minimum requirements, theory hours, and things outside of mock board and I am being held at the stagnate attendance pace of 25 hours per week for my last 400 hours? Why can I not attend the 35-40 maximum hours a week permitted so I can get the fuck on??? I decided to go for the gusto and asked that question, while obviously pissed and the result...? I can come in early. With that in place I'll be graduating in 10 weeks instead of 16.(Sorry Robin...I gots-ta go) They prolly just wanna get rid of my ass though... Like let's hurry up and get this bitch up out of here before she cause any more ruckus. My ass will cause a movement, and a riot up in that muthafukka. Screw that.. people pay entirely too much money to deal with this kind of crap. I was actually getting heated, and hyped up while writing the letter... So I knew I needed to make it an impact-filled one. Sharon, I know we should have done this before you left.. but hey, this was for not only me, but the new booty's.. and the future new booty's. Bay Vista going to need a picture section called "Pioneers of Change" and my picture will be up there.. sitting in a big wicker chair.. or maybe the one with the glass and rose on the side... and my face in it... Lookin' all dignified and sh*t.

Monday, July 9, 2007

The Saga Continues...

So what does the heffa do??? Exactly what I knew she would. Had her ass up in the club... Yep, like she ain't got nobody to pay. *smh* See this is why I feel no remorse for what I did. For what reason do I need to have a little mercy on you for again...? Please, it isn't happening, you're completely disregarding the look of broke-ness. You are also trying my intelligence, and disrespekkin' me by coming up in there lying like you so in the hole and can't pay nothing... yet you can find the time to actually be concerned about going to the club? I mean I am all for a good time, but when I am SERIOUSLY that broke, the club is the last thing on my mind. Then again, maybe that's why she comes in those 7th rate outfits. Anyway, she comes up in there with her other little girl friend... now mind you she(the other girl) speaks to me, but yet ol' girl can't seem to even make eye contact. She seems like she wanna stand where my other homegirl is, but realize I'm there too, and I ain't finta move neither. So she move up and keep talking with her friend.. and says not a word to me.. not that I care anyway... I was busy dancing with my club boyfriend So what puts whipped cream and a cherry on top of the evening? Well it's the last song, and it's time for folks to make their way to the exit... So me the homegirl and of course everyone else start walking up the stairs and we get near the area where my friend had to walk to get to her vehicle and what does the "silly ho" wanna do? She gone sit up and ask my homegirl... "Are you going to come with me to court on the 8th of August?" She makes light of it and tells her yeah- uh huh, and she keeps on talking about, "I gotta be there at 10:45..." Looking all stupid and drunk apparently... So my friend says to me... "Let's go the other way because she acting really stupid, and it ain't even all that serious. She just called me the other day and claimed she understood why you did what you did.." I simply said.. "Girl ain't nobody studying her..." So I'm laughing because first of all dumbass, it's the 9th of August, so have your ass there on the correct day, and secondly, what does she need to assist you there for? YOU are the one who owes money, not her. I just laughed... and walked away. However I guess she sipped a little too much liquid courage while she was trying to act like she was "scaring" someone, and wanted to do something. Niks stay on her toes, and I was already sobered up, so if we would have had to take it there, which I know she was not ready for- believe I would have been ready. I think the fact that I came right on up to the spot, and acted like it was still whatever pissed her off. Like yep- I filed the papers, and??? B*tch you betta have my money... and besides whatchagonedo? Nothing, because if you was feeling that froggish about it you would have leaped. Bitches that that are poor excuses for women, AKA sorry. She is entirely too old to be acting like that. Sweetie...You do not pump kool-aid through my veins, let alone fear. Keep yapping that mess all the way to the courthouse...'Cause I certainly will see you there at 10:45am sharp on the 9th of August. Good Night folks!!!

"What you wanna do, n*gga? (Nothin')

What you tryin to do, n*gga? (Nothin')

What you wanna do, n*gga? (Nothin')"-

Nothin'- N.O.R.E

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Pass The Broom...

So that child can sweep her cracked face up off the floor! Apparently she didn't think I had the nuts to file papers on her ass in the court. She must have gotten served on either Thursday or Friday, because she's been calling everyone who speaks to me, pissed off, saying how she thinks that is fu*ked up and she can't believe I did that. Well I can't believe you didn't have any of the money.. so look at that! Funny thing is while she's calling these people talking mucho grande sh*t; she acts like they ain't going to tell me what she said.

Individual number 1 says she said: "I thought she was okay with me paying her in September.. she said okay"- First of all, when did Nikki insinuate that she would wait 3 more months for you to turn around and say you still don't have it? Exactly, I didn't... Me saying okay prior to hanging up on you, is not a precursor to me being okay with you not having my money or trying to get it until September! You were loud talking and I don't have to tolerate that kind of behavior from a 31 year old woman who owes ME money. I said Okay while you were talking excessively loud, and hung up... As in Okay- I will do what I gotta do.

"She could have told me she was going to do that..."- Does the bank tell you they are going to repo your car if you don't pay them? Hell no, you knew that was a possibility when you signed a promissary note. Dummy. Why should I give you the courtesy anyway? Much sh*t as you talked, then got the nerve to act like I'm wrong for wanting my money like yesterday, when I have been more than nice about the WHOLE situation? B*tch please. You betta get on the good foot like James Brown, and find a way like Tribe Called Quest to get my money.

Individual Number 2 says she said: " She was acting all trifling at the club not speaking to me so I knew she was gonna do something anyway"- Second of all trick... I hadn't even filed papers on you when I wasn't speaking to you in the club. I was simply confirming that I was going to.... Since you can kick it in the club, get your hair done, and bullshyt... Who in the hell are you to speak to anyway? As a matter of fact, you needed to be doing the speaking about how you was going to get my stuff, while you're worried about what I hadn't even got around to do yet. I don't owe you sh*t... Not a smile, not a wave, not a blink. not a glance, not a nod- hell, not even a second thought! The last time I checked, you had backed up into me, given more than enough time to come correct, and now you're bitching because I took action??? *smh* How many ways must you be reminded, that you owe me?

"I could be trifling and just not pay her..." - Is that right? And find a warrant on your ass and a garnishment of your wages broad. So now I am glad I filed them papers because now I know what type of hoe I'm dealing with. I'm dealing with a trifling, no moral having, un-ladylike, drunk, broke azz hoe; who refuses to accept the cards she dealt herself, and now wants everyone (who apparently ain't) to join her in this pity party she keep trying to throw herself. You did the crime, and now it's time to pay the piper. Now all she needs handle that, the rest of the yip-yap is irrelevant, and we don't ever need to talk again(not that I want to anyway) once it is said done and the court makes a decision. She is entirely too trifling for my taste. Funny thing is.. from what I hear, even her dude told her she dead wrong.Now how about that?

You all wanna know the funny thing? When I initially went to the court to file the papers, the legal advisory guy broke it down to how with that promissary note alone, I could have her getting her license suspended, and run her azz in the ground. And yet to think, I was being nice.. simply saying I just want my money to fix my bumper. Now that I know what kind of person she is.. I should have been spiteful and hooked her up with the green light special... But that's not ladylike... Anyhow, I cannot believe this low-budget ass broad. *smh* She can't be serious. You might see me in the streets but shawty you don't know me...

"Girl you better gimme that money.. Whoo!!!"

- Got Your Money- ODB

Monday, July 2, 2007

The Problem With Being Nice...

The problem with being nice is.. you simply cannot be nice to everybody. Let me give you the run down. About a month and a half ago, a female I know through a mutual homegirl backed up into my bumper because she was not looking before she backed up(drinking mind you) ... Thank goodness I knew her/where she lived and things, because she sholl tried to pull off like it didn't happen. Claiming she thought it was one of the guys she was talking to... Anyway, she's crying and praying to Bejeezus I didn't call the police, her insurance company, and that she'll pay me the money to get it fixed... Just in so many words not to "turn her ass in". So being that I know this chicks info, and all that I considered her situation as well, and told her she needs to pay me what it's going to cost to get it fixed in a reasonable amount of time. She agreed to do just that. So as someone who watches too many judge shows, I know better than to only take someones word and walk... I have seen one too many people get screwed out of what was owed simply because they didn't have nothing on paper. So I said I'll be damned if that's me again... especially after the my car got stolen situation. I went home and the next day typed up a letter basically stating that she was aware that she is at fault for the damage to my vehicle, I gave her an estimate of what it costs to fix it, and she'll have been had my pay to me by a NLT date... with a name and signature. So she puts herself in the position to say June 14th half then and no later than June 28th for the rest. Being that she didn't contest to signing it or anything I kinda figured, maybe...just maybe she's a woman of her word; but better safe than sorry. So I made no more mention of it because you claim to be a person of integrity...and that was May 14th. So, mind you in the meanwhile she wanting me to hang out with her, pick her up because now she knows she don't need to be drinking and driving, and things... I didn't have an issue with it, because I'd rather you get a ride than lose your license, car, or life... for doing something as dumb as getting behind the wheel knowing you're twisted. So the 14th of June comes, and what does she do? She calls me to tell me she doesn't have ANYTHING. Not even 25 bucks. So she's apologizing and asking if I can wait until September? I basically said excuse me.. who do I look like? Foo-Foo the Fool? If you ain't even came up with half, not even a quarter of what you owe me, what the hell do I look like waiting a few more months for you to tell me you still don't have it??? Then you'll want me to wait until December? I said, well we tried to do it your way, which was pay me, you have nothing- so I am saying you need to come up with before September...something can be 100 here and there and 50, but we can keep track... So she start going into how much debt she's in and this and that... but I'm un-sympathetic at this point, because first she trying to talk to me like I'm not a vet with fast talk. If you got money to go get your hair braided which out here is like 150-180 dollars, hang out and drink up in the club, then you can come up with my money to get my car which JUST got fixed not too long ago, back in the condition it was before you backed your drunk ass up into it. Trust me had I called the police at that time you'd be paying more like 10 G's, with no car, or license after the fact- opposed to 700... So it'd behoove you to come up with my money... Now I'm feeling like a pimp and I gotta brush my shoulders off. So then the conversation starts turning stupid, because she wants to try to make irrelevant factors part of the equation... I wouldn't have gotten behind me if I knew I was drunk... Well it could have been anybody behind you- you are supposed to look before you back up. Again this conversation is getting dumb- again you need to find some kind of way to pay me my money back before the 28th... So she asks why it costs so much like I didn't give her an estimate. She's too busy being overly concerned with why it costs so much because the car is a '94... I'm like it doesn't matter what the year of the car is... that is how much it costs... have you seen how much it costs to fix a '64 Impala??? That's just how much it costs and you need to come up with it. So she says, "Well I'm just saying I don't see why it costs so much" and I told her look at the estimate and you'll see why... again this is starting to get dumb. I don't owe you and explaination of why it costs anything, but to help you put the pieces together where that estimate came from is the same place my car just came from after it was recovered form being stolen... So I ain't taking my car to Julio or TJ to get fixed, it's going back to the same place it just came from... again you need to come up with that 7 hun... " So she start getting really ignorant... talking about "Well I didn't say you had to explain, but there ain't no reason to get mad, I mean if you not woman enough to just tell me you're mad, fine.. again I just was asking and telling you I think it's too expensive.." SO I put it to her ass plain and simple... I really don't care what your opinion is...and know you're not sitting up here questioning what I'm woman enough to do... I don't owe you anything... not a dime nor an explaination but you're pissing me off talking sh*t like I put you in your situation. You put yourself there, so you need to be woman enough to own up to what you did, and get my money..." and I hung up on her ass.
So what I think she was doing and thinking was she had talked to someone and they must have thought it was too much, and they hyped her brain up to think I'm gonna back down... and I also think she thought if we had a fall out she'd be off the hook. No bitch no, now I'm really serious about getting my money from you. Mind you that same evening she must have came down off Dumb Cloud 13 and left this long winded message about trying to have something by Sept. again (like I said that was okay) and she apologize for being on the ignorant ealier.. and I disregarded it for what it was.. A sorry attempt to pat me on the back and hope I don't take her ass to court.
So now I have had to take other factors in before I did what I did today... How are you chillin' in the club if you so broke...? Whether you pay to go or not... I wouldn't go anywhere I knew I frequented knowing I owe you money... Buying me a beer like that's gonna make admends Nope, you still owe me money by the 28th... You have no kids so it's not like I'm taking from them... You don't wanna get a second job, that'll have me paid off between 5-7 weeks... So basically you just want to pay me when you want to, and you don't seem to be in any rush to do so either...Fuck that and Fuck you. (Fuck you.. pay me)
What put the icing on the cake is.. I went out last night with the homegirl... and how about she came up there... not only did she come up there, but didn't say too much of nothing to me? As if she's in the clear or something... I was just looking like
SO- I had & have no remorse for what I did at 9:44 am today... I went right on up to the court house, discussed the situation, showed the proof and evidence, and handled my business. Filed them papers, and she will be getting served like B2K... I will see you in court on the 9th of August. because waiting on you, I'll never get my car fixed. So anyway, this is the kind of sh*t i'm talking about. This is the problem with being nice. You can't be nice to everybody. Oh well...
"This is business.. it ain't personal..."
It Ain't Personal- R. Kelly & Jay-Z